Country Chatter

It was the last day of November, and I got a call from my sister, Ev. It was her birthday and I had planned to call her. But she had something pressing on her mind that turned out to be very, very interesting to me and my extended family. She had turned on the TV that morning to listen to the weather. She is not a TV person, so this was not something she normally did. They were airing a story about an adopted girl who was searching for her parents. She found her mom and had a relationship with her for about twenty years. But her mom took an important secret to her grave that left her daughter with a deep unfilled void in her life. She refused to tell her daughter, Deanna, her daddy’s name. Her mother did reveal two crucial tidbits of information; he lived in Richmond and was a Greek. It became an intense desire of Deanna to try and find her dad. One day while praying, God revealed to her his name was Gus. After years of searching, she found her dad. The story that was aired is “Woman adopted as a baby is caring for her biological father after lifelong searach for him: It’s the most incredible miracle.”

Ev found the story very interesting and amazing. Later in the morning she was mulling over the story and suddenly it hit her; Richmond, Greek, Gus. Could this possibly be the Gus that we knew, the long-time friend of our Aunt Ruth? She called me. My husband and I live on a farm about 30 miles west of Richmond and our Aunt Ruth had lived on the west side of Richmond. Ev knew we had a fair amount of contact with both of them. She started telling me the story and I was stunned. The only thing that raised a doubt was Gus being a ballroom dance instructor. I had never heard that, nor could I visualize him as one. We called a sister of Ruth, and she confirmed that yes, that was true and had taught Aunt Ruth how to ballroom dance. Oh me, oh, my! I immediately had to hear the story! This was too coincidental for it not to be the Gus we knew! I goggled and came up with the story. As soon as I saw the picture, I knew it was him. We very quickly learned some things about Gus that we never knew; a history that had never been revealed, a life he had kept secret. Did Aunt Ruth know? My suspicions are she did since a nephew on Gus’s side of the family knew where to point Deanna when DNA testing linked them together. Aunt Ruth passed away in March 2016 so we will probably never know for sure.

The story of Deanna that was aired, is not the story of our family except for the fact that Aunt Ruth was a friend of Gus Nicholas for many years, probably going back to the early 70’s. Living close to Richmond and being close to her, Gus became a part of our lives in special ways. To learn this story about him has intrigued us and made us reflect on the man we knew but didn’t know.

Gene and I were married in 1972. Aunt Ruth was a single aunt who never married. She was next to the oldest in a family of twelve children. She got her nursing degree and in February 1966 moved to Richmond to further her education at VCU and worked at MCV Hospital. She was an excellent nurse and nursing instructor, and her specialty was the cardio-vascular unit, helping with some of the first heart transplants in Virginia. Another aunt who was a younger sister of Ruth, Carolyn Reed, her husband John, and their two children Doug and Cathy, moved to Richmond in 1974. It was really special for me to have two aunts so close by. I will always treasure the times spent in their homes and the special family friendships we developed.

I don’t remember when I first learned about Gus. Ruth and Gus frequently came out to our farm to target shoot their pistols. Ruth always drove as Gus had an eye issue and did not have good eye sight. He loved to shoot but he was never as good as Ruth. She could hit the mark! On one of their excursions to the farm we were getting ready to feed the baby calves and invited them to help. Our daughter Jill was really little, probably around 3, and she wanted to carry the calf bottle. It was almost too big and heavy for her, but she hugged it to her chest and waddled down the hill to the calf barn. Gus thought she was the cutest thing and giggled and giggled at her. Once he started giggling, he couldn’t stop! He snickered and giggled like a little girl while feeding the calves. He had never done such a thing and it struck him so funny. For Aunt Ruth it brought back memories of when she was a little girl on her father’s dairy farm.

Usually after they were done shooting, we would sit around the kitchen table, chatting and eating a snack while catching up on our lives. Gus was always friendly, chatty and fun to visit with.

I don’t know what attracted Ruth to Gus or how they met. They were so different in their family heritage and traditions, faith, lifestyle, ethnic background and education. But they found in each other a friendship that lasted forty or more years. There were times of frustration for Ruth and along the way there were several other opportunities that blossomed but never bloomed. Did she know his sorted past and wondering eye? They never shared the strong bond of a common faith and she never wanted to marry him. He was a friend and they enjoyed doing things together and the companionship it provided.

In her later years, Aunt Ruth moved to a retirement home in Harrisonburg. Gus took the move hard; he needed and depended on her, but Ruth’s mind was made up. After her death, I called Gus and told him of her passing. I made arrangements to pick him up and take him with me to the funeral. At the last minute, he backed out. He was not getting around well anymore and felt it was too much for him. I lost contact with him soon after that.

I realize we never really knew much about his personal life except his name was Gus and he was Aunt Ruth’s friend. I thought I had lots of memories of him but when I started to write I discovered time had stored the specifics of them on the unretrievable files of my mind. I will treasure the few I have.

Gus passed away on December 6, one week after the story broke. I was able to contact Deanna the following day and she told me the news. I asked if he had made peace with God and accepted Jesus as his Savior before he died and she said yes. Gus’s story is not about us or even Aunt Ruth but a daughter who found her dad and was able to make peace with her heritage, her past, and her dad at just the right time. It is an amazing miraculous story for Deanna and Gus. Their story was especially fascinating to us because Gus had touched our lives through Aunt Ruth.

We simply knew his name was Gus and accepted him for who he was, Aunt Ruth’s friend.

Other memories…..

My cousin, Doug Reed, who was Uncle John and Aunt Carolyn’s son writes the following memories of Gus.

I don’t remember the first time I met Gus. He was just so present in my life for my formative years. Our family moved back to Richmond, VA when I was about seven, and we spent quite a lot of time with my Mom’s sister Ruth. Gus was Aunt Ruth’s companion. In a family where respect for elders was strictly enforced, we were forbidden to address our Aunts and Uncles by first name only – “Aunt Ruth” always had to have the “Aunt” in front of it, despite the fact that she was such a familiar presence in our home. Gus was an exception. He was never “Uncle” Gus – he was pretty much the only adult we could address on a first name basis.

I remember him as a raconteur, telling stories around the dinner table – often hilariously off-color for our straight-laced household. He always included me in conversations, making my young self feel included in the foreign world of the adult’s table. I remember him sneaking me away from the dinner table and heading down to the basement for games of ping-pong. Gus had sharp reflexes, and I usually lost. Gus showed me how to put spin on the ball, twisting my wrist instead of just smacking the ball head-on. My ping-pong game improved after that, but he still usually beat me. He was a constant in our home for many years, coming to all of our Thanksgivings and Easter dinners. As a kid who enjoyed irreverent humor, I saw in Gus a kindred spirit. He was a man of good humor, with a smile for everyone he met. I am glad to have known him, and happy he found family and a home at the end of his life. 

On December 27, 2022 there was a Celebration of Life for Gus by youtube. Below is the link posted by Deanna Shrodes.

Celebration of Life Service for Gus Nick Nickolas