Posts Tagged ‘Dying Outloud: No Guilt in Life-No Fear in Death by Shawn Smucker’

My Journey With Healing

The doctor almost bounced into the room today. As he felt my ankle he said, “Does it hurt?” I said, “No”. Then he said, “There has been significant change in your ankle.” I felt a surge of panic as I thought the negative and then he said, “Let me show you the x-rays. Look at them!” I studied them for a minute but failed to see what he was so excited about. When he pointed out the difference I could hardly contain myself. I responded with how much I had been praying for healing.

In the picture on the left (taken in September), see the open gap to the left of the screws? That is my bone that had not healed. In the picture on the right (taken today, November 29), notice that the gap has almost totally filled in. That is an incredible amount of healing in a five-week period of time.

In September when he ordered the bone stimulator for me, he caution that it would take time, could be six weeks or more before we see any difference. Today we are just over five weeks. All I can say is God has been gracious and He is knitting my bone back together. Numerous times when I have been lying in bed or sitting in my lazy boy, I have felt my ankle suddenly start to throb. Not hurt, just throb like a rapid heart throb. At first I was concerned but then I thought, maybe that is God knitting my bone together. The bone stimulator promotes blood flow to the area so that it can jump start healing. That is blood throbbing! Whenever I feel that, I always said, “Thank you Jesus for healing my bone.”

People have been asking me this month whether I can feel any difference in my ankle. I couldn’t. I could not tell that it had not healed and I could not tell if it had. I had no way to know if God was working in the secret place! Numerous times I thought about Psalms 139 where it talks about God knitting out bodies together in secret in our mother’s womb. It is a beautiful description of how our Creator God works. My ankle did not hurt and I could walk on it just fine because it was screwed together. However, I felt very vulnerable when walking outside or on the gravel driveway.

This Thanksgiving season I had to struggle some to not worry. My accident happened on Mother’s Day which was over 8 months ago. I could hardly bear to think of going through surgery again if my bone didn’t heal. It seemed like everything I picked up to read (several different books, facebook posts, devotions and even our Sunday School lesson on Sunday) was about experiencing God in our struggles, disappointments, suffering, trials and hurts. It is usually in our “difficult times” that we seek God and open ourselves to His work and divine power in our lives.

One book (Dying Outloud) I read was the story of a missionary couple to an unreached people group in a very remote area of the middle east. They lived among the village people for numerous years and learned to love them, pray with and for them and became a part of their life and culture. But they could not seem to reach them to trust in Jesus for salvation. They started praying for supernatural miracles so that the people would see the true God at work. A blind man received his sight and an almost dead person regained health. It was exciting and wonderful and the people were grateful. But then God revealed to the couple through a series of visions that something tragic was going to happen. That tragedy would break the glass ceiling preventing the people hearts from understanding the true God. How we live and how we deal with tragedy often speaks louder and clearer than a miracle. The challenge was to thank God for our difficult times along with our blessings. I began to wonder if God was preparing me for what laid ahead. I admit I began to mentally preparing myself for bad news but I resolved to praise God even if it was not what I wanted to hear.

This has been a rough year, all year long. Gene developed Covid in January and ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. He is still dealing with long-term Covid affects. (That will be another post). Then my journey began in mid-March when I slipped and fell in the rain on wet grass and torn my ham string and calf muscle. That was barely healed when I fell down two steps on Mother’s Day and broke my ankle. From there it was emergency care, doctor’s visits, surgery, a cast, no weight bearing for two months, a walking boot, therapy, therapy and more therapy and then the realization in September that my ankle was not healing, not at all! It was the screws that allowed me to walk without pain.

I admit I began to feel battered and worn. The sea of life was feeling rather rough. In many ways I feel like Gene and I both visibly aged this year. But at the same time, we received many blessings and words of encouragement and prayers from family, church family, friends, employees, customers and even good ole Facebook friends! Yeah for Facebook! It was humbling to be so dependent on others to help with my basic heath care, clean the house, cook meals, do the laundry and the list goes on and on. It was so hard for independent me to say, “I can’t do it”, “Can you do this for me”.

To everyone I say thank-you. I am seeing light at the end of my tunnel and I am chugging towards it. There is a new lightness to my step this evening. God has been faithful and I have felt His presence, His peace and His care. I am grateful for this blessing of healing and praise God for His mercy. Thank you Jesus for granting me healing.

Other posts about my ankle:

A number of people asked about the book I referenced. It can be found on goggle. “Dying Outloud: No Guilt in Life, No Fear in Death” by Shawn Smucker.

This was copied from “Second Sale” website: Dying Out Loud is the story of Stan, his wife, Ann, their children Elle and Stanley, and their dedication to following God no matter what the cost. They traded the comforts of suburban southern California for the crowded cobblestone streets of the Middle East. They explored remote areas and they befriended nomadic tribes people, courageously bringing a message of hope and freedom to those needing to hear it. But none of those adventures would compare to where God led them next: a journey of visions, revelations, and sorrow. A journey into stage-four cancer, and a journey that beckoned them to walk the shrouded path through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Yet even there they discovered peace, grace, and a new hope for the lost around them.

Fear Sat On My Cushion

Ten years ago this month the Beltway snipers created havoc and terror on the east coast and particularly in Virginia.  The Richmond Times ran a story about the ordeal today in the paper.  I was reminded of the stark fear that perched itself in my comfort zone.  I had written  my thoughts and decided to share them with you today.  Maybe you are dealing with a fearful and uncertain time in your life.  Let God speak peace to your heart today.  Blessings, Pat.

“Your children are not safe anywhere or at any place.”  (Beltway Sniper)

“I can not guarantee your children’s safety.” (Chief Moose)

Suddenly fear struck home.  I had been following the sniper’s reign of terror but it was up there, at least 90 minutes north of where we live.  Suddenly it was 40 minutes away in Ashland and then 25 minutes at a phone booth in Richmond.  As people began to talk I realized how close to home it really was; a youth girl from church was in Ashland and caught in the traffic jam on I-95, a customer was in the first car that the police stopped in front of the Ponderosa Steakhouse, an employee had eaten at the Cracker Barrel beside the steakhouse and had left just two minutes prior to the shooting.  These are people I know.  Terror was invading my comfort zone.

Fear took a grip.  I needed to go get groceries the following evening at our local Food Lion.  But the fear of “uncertainty” weighed heavier on the scale than “reality” that the sniper was striking close to major highways and intersections.  Just to be safe, I assured myself, I would stay home.  We wanted to attend a trade show in the Washington suburbs but just to be safe, we assured ourselves, we would stay home.

Why do bad things/circumstances happen?

Why do evil men reign?

Why does God allow injustice and suffering to happen to innocent people?

Habakkuk questioned “why” to the same questions.  Take a few minutes and read the short book of Habakkuk in the Old Testament.  It was a very difficult time in Judah’s history.  God answered Habakkuk’s cry with the most unlikely of answers.  “Look….watch-be utterly astounded!  For I will work a work in your days which you will not believe.” (Habakkuk 1:5)  God said a fierce and nasty nation was going to come against Judah, a time of great judgment. God said, “Behold the proud, his soul is not upright in him; but the “just would live by HIS faith” (Habakkuk 2:4), and that “the Lord is in His holy temple, let all the earth keep silence before Him.”  Habakkuk fell on his knees and at the end of his prayer his body was trembling and shaking.  His lips were quivering and he sang a tremendous hymn of faith…

“Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vine; Though the labor of the olive may fail, and fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stall….Yet I WILL rejoice in the Lord. I WILL joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord is my strength….”(Habakkuk 3:17-19)

My faith and trust in God is not based on the circumstances around me. I don’t know why the sniper was allowed his reign of terror.  There was one lone voice amidst all the noise and clamor from the wife of the man shot in Ashland.  She said, “Pray for the sniper.”  It is obvious the two previously unknown snipers do not know our loving God.  Now that we have gotten acquainted, let us pray for the salvation of these two men.  Maybe, just maybe, God will be able to work in the midst of a most unlikely situation.

October 27, 2002

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