Country Chatter

Last week at this very moment we were laying mother to rest in a cemetery with friends and family gathered around. It was a sobering moment; quiet, respectful, sad, reflective and yet full of hope that we would see her again one day. Her plot is on a slight hill facing east with the Massanutten Mountain range in the background. My brother Ed spoke about mother’s beautiful garden and how a seed is planted to be resurrected. The grand and greatgrandchildren gathered together and sang, “Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine”.

The memorial service followed; songs of worship flowed from our hearts; “A Wonderful Savior is Jesus My Lord, Sweet Peace, the Gift of God’s Love and In the Sweet By and By”. There were loving tributes and a message based on her favorite verse, Ephesians 3:20, by another brother, Rich.

I have had a lot of thoughts and emotions this week. I wonder what is she doing? What is she experiencing? What is heaven like? I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. The care for mother took it’s toil but we were so blessed to be able to do it. We did what we wanted to do. One part of me grieves our loss and the other part is so glad and relieved she is free from suffering.

Like the rose at the beginning of the blog, her time had come. She had lived her appointed time and lived it well. I gently lifted the head of the wilted rose and its beauty is still there, lingering on.

My Tribute to Mother (read at the service)

In May, just before mother became bedfast, I convinced her to let me take her for a ride in her wheelchair outside on the driveway. It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining, and the crabapple and cherry trees were in full bloom and the mockingbird was flurrying about. Mother had been resisting the idea of the wheelchair tucked in the corner of the living room, so I called it her chariot.  As we walked, I mentioned to her that Elijah was in a chariot when he went to heaven. She thought a moment and said, “What will you do if I go now?” I said, “I will watch you go and then pick up your coat.” She smiled and said, “That is a good answer.”

I thought what a wonderful way that would be to go.  She didn’t leave me there staring at the sky, but I have thought about it many times.  Mothers’ chariot has now come and gone, and I didn’t get to see her go, so there was no coat to pick up, but her legacy lingers on.

Mother specifically asked that we not talk about all the things that she has done in life, so I want to talk a little about her character; the things she has left us that are far more important than earthly treasures or things she accomplished.  Proverbs 31 talks about a virtuous woman; her characteristics and what she does. But tucked in verse 25 at the end of the chapter it says, “Strength and dignity (or honor) are her clothing. She will rejoice in time to come.”

Words that describe mother are gracious hostess, serving heart, kind, loyal friend and peaceful. She liked things neat, clean and in order. Mother was a quiet woman, never raising her voice.  She spoke with authority, love and respect. When mother spoke, we listened, and we respected her. We knew mother and daddy were a team and we knew better than to try and pit one against the other.  Mother always respected and stood by daddy and her church, doing her best to walk along side and support whatever it was that was happening.  Mother was not an upfront person and mostly served behind the scenes. For over 20 years, she supported daddy in his ministry as a pastor’s wife at Morning View Mennonite Church, encouraging and praying.  She was a gracious hostess and exceptional cook, and many were blessed to sit around her dining room table. Remember her cinnamon buns, doughnuts, hot homemade bread and rolls, dandelion salad, cookie and candy trays at Christmas, homemade potato chips, ginger snaps, pork cake, buckwheat pancakes, and Graham Cracker Fluff?

She knew who liked what and exactly how much to cook for her tribe of 60 plus. It was amazing how she could make the food for a large group come out exactly right, down to the last lima bean. Daddy did not like leftovers.

 One of her few acts of defiance-it may have been her only, was one Christmas some of the moms were complaining about the luscious homemade cookie and candy tray mother had out for the taking before the evening meal that was spoiling the little children’s appetite.  Mother picked the tray up, marched into the living room and as she announced, “I will put it out if I want to,” she stumbled, and cookie and candies went flying across the room. That made an extremely funny, and memorable memory we have all remembered-as it was so unlike her!

Mother made many quilts and baby quilts that were gifted to each of us children and grandchildren. She made many comforters for Christian Aid Ministries. When the granddaddaughters were young, mother made cute dresses for them at Christmas time. They would all line up and have their picture taken with her.

Mother was a disciplined, faithful follower of Jesus. She knew and loved the Word. Mother truly represented a woman of strength and honor. Many of you have mentioned her kind and gracious spirit.  Like the writer of Proverbs said, “Strength and dignity (honor) are her clothing -or the mantle she leaves behind. Her time has now come to rejoice

A few other links:

Graveside Service

Memorial Service